


A Mess

by lovely_local_dreamer



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Blood, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intentionally Bad Spelling & Grammar, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Triggers, but hey im posting so, this is shit wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6108076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovely_local_dreamer/pseuds/lovely_local_dreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a cluttered room with clothes on the floor, hair when youve just woken up. tyler isnt that kind of mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mess

**Author's Note:**

> hey this is the first thing ive ever written sorry its kinda shit. im always a slut for angst. also please dont read it if youre triggered by any of the tags.

a mess. the first thing those words bring to mind is probably a room with some clutter, or your hair in the morning. tyler wasnt that kind of mess. he was a beautiful mind full of ugly thoughts and was so jumbled up he started seeing the ugly as lovely.

tyler was a mess, but his eyes were full of hope. he was a dreamer, and a new grade meant new friends. 

tyler was a mess, and he didnt know why. he was just being honest, and surely the other kids dreamed of screams at night. the other kids just didnt talk about it. tyler decided not to talk about it anymore.

tyler was a mess. he realized that he was a jumbled room with clothes on the floor, and the weight of that realization came crashing down. he wasnt normal. he could try, god did he try, but he never would be. 

tyler was a mess, and he was tired of pretending otherwise. he dreamed of blood now, across a pale canvas, but he didnt talk about it. he didnt talk at all. he had sunken into himself, and people were tired of trying to get him out. 

tyler was a mess. his eyes had sunken in, his hair was tangled and matted, his hips jutted too far to be natural, his lips were chapped, and his dreams werent just dreams anymore. 

tyler was a mess, and he had given up on himself.

josh was a mess. he dropped his books because his hands were shaking and he couldnt keep eye contact for long. but josh still tried, that has to mean something. right?

tyler was a mess, a cluttered room walking across town for his last goodbyes. as much as he didnt care about himself, he loved the forest. he had to tell someone (something) where he was going, and the trees always listened.

josh was a mess, and just wanted to read in the grass somewhere quiet. 

tyler was a mess, and couldnt stop the tears. they wouldnt come for years, yet they wouldnt leave now. 

josh was a mess, but he wasnt deaf. 

tyler was a mess, and his tears were mixing with red now.

josh was a mess, and wished his hands didnt shake as he typed his password.

tyler was a mess, and wished he hadnt given up all that time ago. 

josh was a mess, and he knew there wasnt a chance. he called anyway. josh still had hope. 

tyler was a mess and had given up hope long ago, but wished he had the power to scream to the trees. this wasnt how he wanted to go. this wasnt what he had planned. 

josh was a mess, and his tears were falling for a boy he didnt know. the ambulance was on its way, but the small amount of light in the strangers eyes was already fading. 

tyler was a mess, but his jumbled room of a mind was finally getting a break. tyler wished he could turn back and change it all, but tyler wasnt a dreamer. tyler knew better.

josh was a mess. his tears had dried up, and there was nothing he could do for this boy. 

tyler was a mess, but soon he would be a simple concept, a past tense, a fleeting memory in the mind of his old classmates. soon his mind wouldnt be screams and blood, a jumbled tangle of confusing thought. soon his mind would be silent. 

josh was a mess and he wished he could help this boy. 

tyler was a mess. was.

josh was a mess, and his shaking hands hadnt seen light in days. his eyes had been closed, but he didnt sleep. josh had once been a dreamer but he wasnt sure he was anything now.

josh was a mess. death did funny things to the mind, and images of the boy with red tears haunted joshs every moment. he wished he could just sleep to get away from the pictures.

josh was a mess, and he was tired. tired of trying. of living. 

josh was a mess, and realized what he could do to get to sleep. 

josh was a mess, and he wanted to see that boy again and tell him what he had done to his mind. 

josh was a mess, but his hands didnt shake when he pulled the trigger.

**Author's Note:**

> a cluttered room is a mess, and once upon a time no one got a happy ending. but this isnt once upon a time. you do get a happy ending. fight for it. you have control. message me on tumblr at t-a-x-i-c-a-b if you need to talk.


End file.
